06 November 2026
The Hidden Work of Leading Adults
Published by Amanda Anderson
Over recent coaching conversations with school leaders, I’ve noticed how often discussions about leadership eventually come back to one thing.
Other adults.
Leaders might begin by talking about an improvement priority, a change they’re trying to implement or something that simply isn’t working as it should. But eventually the conversation becomes:
→ “I’ve explained why we’re doing it.”
→ “I’ve modelled it.”
→ “I’ve given them support.”
→ “I’ve tried to get them on board.”
→ “I’m not sure what else I can do.”
I hear this more often than people realise, because one of the least visible parts of school leadership is the work involved in helping other adults move.
- To understand.
- To engage.
- To change practice.
- To take responsibility.
- To follow something through.
- And sometimes, despite the leader doing many of the right things, they don’t.
I’ve started to think of this as The Hidden Work of Leading Adults.
What the hidden work of leading adults looks like in schools
Much of leadership is relatively visible.
- Meetings happen.
- Plans are written.
- Priorities are agreed.
- Training is delivered.
- Actions are allocated.
But between those visible moments sits another layer of work. A colleague hasn’t done what was agreed. Someone doesn’t understand why a change matters. A team is reverting to an old way of working. One person’s urgency is another person’s “I’ll get to it eventually.” A colleague appears to agree in a meeting but doesn’t follow through afterwards. Someone needs challenging, but the leader also wants to preserve the relationship. Another person needs support, but support is beginning to become dependence. This is where a considerable amount of leadership actually happens.
Not in the plan itself, but in the work required to help other people translate the plan into practice.
Knowing something needs to change doesn’t mean somebody else will change it
I think there is an assumption hidden within some approaches to leadership and change:
If people understand why, they’ll act. Often they do, but not always!
You can explain the rationale clearly and someone can still disagree. You can provide evidence and someone can interpret it differently. You can model a better approach and someone can return to established practice. You can invite participation and someone can choose not to engage. You can provide support and still see little change.
That’s because leadership involves adults with their own experiences, motivations, beliefs, pressures and priorities. Understanding isn’t the same as ownership. Perhaps buy-in isn’t something a leader can simply manufacture. We can create the conditions for it. We can’t force it.
The pace gap
Another version of this pattern has appeared in coaching conversations. A leader sees something that needs changing and wants to act. They can see the implications. They understand the wider context. They may be carrying information that other colleagues aren’t. So their urgency feels entirely rational. But somebody else doesn’t necessarily see the same picture.
The leader thinks: We need to sort this now.
The colleague thinks: What’s the rush?
Neither is necessarily responding irrationally. They’re responding to different views of the situation. That creates what I think of as a pace gap. And it leaves the leader with another judgement to make.
Do I explain more?
Do I give more time?
Do I involve them further?
Or is this a moment when I simply need to become clearer about the expectation?
When collaboration needs to become clarity
I think this is one of the more uncomfortable aspects of leadership. Most leaders I work with want to involve people. They want colleagues to understand the reasons behind decisions. They want genuine engagement rather than compliance. That’s a good thing. However, collaboration cannot always mean indefinite negotiation.
Sometimes a leader has listened, explained, supported, invited contribution, allowed time and something still needs to happen. At that point, the leadership task changes. It may become:
This is what we need to do.
This is why it matters.
This is what I need from you.
This is when it needs to happen.
That isn’t necessarily abandoning collaborative leadership. Sometimes it is simply providing the clarity that collaboration hasn’t yet produced.
Why It Matters Through an Educational Leadership Lens
The hidden work of leading adults matters because it can consume a surprising amount of leadership capacity. Not necessarily because of the original task, but because of everything surrounding it.
- Thinking about how to approach somebody.
- Replaying a conversation afterwards.
- Wondering whether you’ve been clear enough.
- Deciding whether to follow up.
- Giving another opportunity.
- Managing resistance.
- Trying to maintain relationships while also holding expectations.
- And sometimes eventually taking the work back yourself because that feels easier.
That last response is understandable; however it can also create another problem. If the leader repeatedly absorbs the work when someone else doesn’t take ownership, the immediate problem gets solved. But the leadership problem remains. Sometimes doing it yourself is quicker today and considerably more expensive tomorrow.
Influence doesn’t mean control
Perhaps this is the distinction at the centre of this pattern. Leadership gives us influence. It doesn’t give us control over another adult.
We can control
- Whether we’re clear.
- Whether we listen.
- Whether we explain.
- Whether we provide appropriate support.
- Whether we challenge.
- Whether we follow up.
- But we cannot completely control how another person responds.
I think recognising that matters. Otherwise, leaders can begin to take responsibility not only for their leadership, but also for another person’s response to it. Those aren’t the same thing.
Closing the feedback loop
One practical idea that emerged through a recent coaching conversation was the importance of closing the feedback loop. Leaders often finish a conversation believing there is shared understanding.
We’ve discussed it.
They know what needs doing.
We’ve agreed.
But what happens next can reveal that the two people left the same conversation with very different interpretations. One simple way to test that is to ask: “So, what are you going to do next?” and: “When will that happen?”
This is not a test. It is not to catch somebody out, but to make the implicit explicit. Because clarity isn’t what the leader believes they have communicated. It’s what the other person has understood and can act upon.
Why naming the pattern matters
Leading adults can feel frustrating precisely because the relationship between effort and outcome isn’t predictable. More explanation doesn’t always produce more understanding. More support doesn’t always produce more ownership. More involvement doesn’t always produce more buy-in. And more leadership effort doesn’t always create more movement. Sometimes the next step isn’t more. It’s clearer.
Clearer expectations.
Clearer responsibility.
Clearer timescales.
Clearer follow-up.
Clearer boundaries between what belongs to the leader and what belongs to somebody else. That doesn’t remove the complexity of leading adults. But it can stop leaders carrying responsibility that was never entirely theirs to carry.
Pause for a Moment
You might pause for a moment and ask yourself:
Q. Where are you currently working harder for someone else’s ownership than they are?
That can be an uncomfortable question. It can also reveal a lot.
One Small Doable Action
Choose one conversation next week where you might usually rely on assumed understanding.
At the end, ask:
“What will you do next, and by when?”
Then listen.
You may discover that you’re completely aligned, or you may discover a gap that would otherwise have remained hidden.
Sometimes leadership isn’t about explaining something again. It’s about ensuring shared understanding becomes shared action.
Noticing patterns in schools
This article forms part of the Noticing Patterns in Schools series, where I share patterns that emerge through leadership coaching conversations with school leaders across the UK.
The aim isn’t to prescribe quick fixes or offer generic advice. Instead, it is about noticing what might otherwise go unnamed and helping leaders create space for clearer thinking.
If you’d like to receive future reflections as new patterns emerge, you can subscribe to the LinkedIn newsletter.
Subscribe on LinkedInBecause resilience in leadership rarely comes from working harder. More often, it begins with noticing the patterns shaping the work.
You may also be interested in previous articles in this series:
